Our heart­felt attempts at cheer and good­will this hol­i­day sea­son bark their knees—if they had knees—on reports like Name It. Change It. Just when we wanted to for­get all about misog­yny comes this por­tent reminder that it is always with us, espe­cially in the var­i­ous forms of media I attempt to ignore but which bathe our coun­try in a bath of vitriol.

How tragic it is that all these years after the resur­gence of the women’s move­ment in the 1970’s (and it had hardly lain dor­mant before that), we are still shy about nam­ing the dis­crim­i­na­tion we see on every hand! How many of us have silently wit­nessed drunken jibes, this sea­son, obliv­i­ous com­ments (all pro­fes­sion­als are still assumed to be he’s), com­pli­ments on our looks or clothes that carry con­de­scen­sion or even threat like a sting in their long sin­u­ous tails? Surely even those young women who insist that “all that” is a thing of the past have felt uncom­fort­able under the scrutiny of men in malls, streets, sub­ways, or have noticed as soon as they enter the job mar­ket that they are still sec­ond class cit­i­zens, last hired, first fired, still mak­ing a mis­er­able 77 cents to the dol­lar paid to men. And I sus­pect that, as domes­tic abuse increases and is blamed on the mis­ery of men out of work, women who retain their jobs will be blamed not only for con­tin­u­ing to work—robbing a good man who is only try­ing to sup­port his family!—but also for caus­ing the increase in assaults and battery.

Yet nam­ing it, in silence, while a worth­while first step, is only a pri­vate act. We are called on, now, to name it in pub­lic: to ques­tion pro­gres­sive move­ments like the var­i­ous Occupy groups that shove women to the side­lines (how often have you heard a woman inter­viewed from those encamp­ments?), lib­eral politi­cians whose most impor­tant asset is their wives, phi­lan­der­ing can­di­dates who espouse some­thing filmy called Family Values.

Letters to the Editor: yes.

Speaking out dur­ing social occa­sions when we will be met by a wall of silence, inap­pro­pri­ate jok­ing, or worse.

Constant, bone-wearying attempts to sup­port women candidates—but only those who openly oppose the sys­tem they are try­ing to enter: a con­tra­dic­tion in terms.

Well-meaning phil­an­thropy that treats poor women as col­o­nized sub­jects who should be grate­ful for our help.

Daughters and grand­daugh­ters grow­ing up in bliss­ful igno­rance (and this applies par­tic­u­larly to the priv­i­leged, fenced about with gates, pri­vate schools, resort vaca­tions, first class travel, hired help, and a soci­ety that endorses, applauds and admires priv­i­lege in all its forms), even when address­ing these top­ics in the perhaps-listening pres­ence of beloved girls raises hack­les and cre­ates divisions—

IS ALL THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK?

NOT WHEN WE SPEAK, AND ACT, TOGETHER.

Tagged as: misogyny, Name It. Change It.

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