Sallie Bingham

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You are here: Home / My Family / Gratitude

Gratitude

December 18th, 2014 by Sallie Bingham in My Family 9 Comments

Gratitude - Holidays

It may seem strange, but I am most grateful at this time of year for the short leash, financially, on which I was kept when I was growing up.

I didn’t think of it as a leash at the time, because my whole family and everyone I knew survived on what today would seem a miserable amount of spending money for people who clearly had access to much more.

Twenty-five cents for weekly allowance, with at least a dime allocated to the plate at church on Sunday; I knew I would need to begin to save long before Halloween in order to have money to buy Christmas presents, which I loved to do, a love sharpened by an edge of anxiety. Would I have enough—?

Although I loved presents, even hankered for them, the ones I received—mainly books—never mattered as much as the presents I gave, and for that I will always be grateful.

We shopped, my siblings and I, at the Woolworths in a nearby town, a large store, intimidating in the amount of wares that were laid out on counters running from the front of the store to the back.

I had a limited amount of time, as well as a limited amount of money, to make my purchases for about ten people: my four siblings, my parents, and the five people who lived in the house and who raised us as well as cooking, driving and cleaning.

One of them, Curtis Madison, would drive us to Woolworths in the station wagon, parking and waiting patiently outside.

I bought handkerchiefs for the men and boys, stout white rectangles pleasantly presented in a box tied with a narrow ribbon; a spray bottle of perfume with no recognizable name for my mother; and, for the five women who took care of us, round plastic compacts with pink powder and fluffy puffs inside.

My childhood seemed to end the Christmas I realized that the black women I loved couldn’t use the powder I gave them, although they exclaimed over the compacts and thanked me enthusiastically.

Because they were endowed with the kind of humor that allows people to survive, I’m sure they all enjoyed a kindly laugh, later, over my choice.

But what remains, and inspires my gratitude still, is not the sharpness of that realization but the delight of carrying all those little packages to the car, the excitement of bringing them home and wrapping them with odds and ends of paper and ribbon, and the choice moment, on Christmas morning, when I presented them.

Although I loved presents, even hankered for them, the ones I received—mainly books—never mattered as much as the presents I gave, and for that I will always be grateful.

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In My Family holidays gratitude Christmas

A long and fruitful career as a writer began in 1960 with the publication of Sallie Bingham's novel, After Such Knowledge. This was followed by 15 collections of short stories in addition to novels, memoirs and plays, as well as the 2020 biography The Silver Swan: In Search of Doris Duke.

Her latest book, Taken by the Shawnee, is a work of historical fiction published by Turtle Point Press in June of 2024. Her previous memoir, Little Brother, was published by Sarabande Books in 2022. Her short story, "What I Learned From Fat Annie" won the Thomas Wolfe Fiction Prize in 2023 and the story "How Daddy Lost His Ear," from her forthcoming short story collection How Daddy Lost His Ear and Other Stories (September 23, 2025), received second prize in the 2023 Sean O’Faolain Short Story Competition.

She is an active and involved feminist, working for women’s empowerment, who founded the Kentucky Foundation for Women, which gives grants to Kentucky artists and writers who are feminists, The Sallie Bingham Center for Women's History and Culture at Duke University, and the Women’s Project and Productions in New York City. She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Sallie's complete biography is available here.

Comments

  1. Julie Crosby on Facebook says

    December 18th, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Beautifully written, Sallie. Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a stellar new year (also hoping we connect in person in 2015!).

    Reply
  2. Kara Sachs on Facebook says

    December 18th, 2014 at 11:03 am

    I agree! Happy Holidays to you Sallie!

    Reply
  3. Nadine Stafford on Facebook says

    December 18th, 2014 at 11:32 am

    Sallie, you still give many presents. Thank you for doing so!

    Reply
  4. Thomas Lipscomb on Facebook says

    December 18th, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Looking at one of them right now… “SANS FOYER”

    Reply
  5. James E. Haynes on Facebook says

    December 18th, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    those black women who loved you had generous hearts… thank you for sharing your childhood reflections.

    Reply
  6. Ranny Levy on Facebook says

    December 18th, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    Good memories and I can relate. I remember the 5& dime and woolworths

    Reply
  7. Angela Burton on Facebook says

    December 19th, 2014 at 9:14 am

    Beautiful.

    Reply
  8. Gayle Austin on Facebook says

    December 19th, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    As will I! I remember a swanky lunch and your check for the Southeast Playwrights Project c. 1988. That group has morphed into Working Title Playwrights here in Atlanta and now I’m one of their patrons. Their new play workshop series, The Ethel Woolson Lab, is named for my late mother. Passing the torch!

    Reply
  9. Carolyn Charlene Lewis on Facebook says

    February 23rd, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    What a beautiful thought !

    Reply

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Watch Sallie

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