Sallie Bingham

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You are here: Home / Politics / Ugly Words

Ugly Words

March 21st, 2017 by Sallie Bingham in Women, Politics 8 Comments

Not spoken, but written. Not signed. Left on my windshield… glimpsed on the bumper of a car in a parking lot here in Santa Fe. I won’t repeat them because they stick like burrs in memory. But we all know what they are, and we all know the abusive words they use.

Is this happening more frequently now?

I believe so. We are led by a man who uses violent language, to the amusement of many, including some of my dearest and closest friends.

Sticks and stones can break my bones,
But words can never hurt me.

The only possible solution is radical, and like all radical ideas, it is impractical and idealistic, like some of the programs that will be cut.

We used to chant those lines, as children, to disarm our attackers. But those ugly-word children spoke directly to us, and we knew who they were.

People who use ugly words in some form of electronic or printed message, who do not face the people they are lashing out against—in many cases, they are total strangers—are cowards.

But we have learned to accept cowards, since our screens are full of them. Unknown people who launch broadsides against people they don’t know are by definition cowards, since they face no consequences. Anyone can do anything if there is no threat of consequences—or at least nothing that keeps them awake at night. The “prick of conscience,” like an old needle, is dulled.

“I could shoot someone dead on Fifth Avenue and it wouldn’t matter,” the President said.

Violent words will eventually lead to violent actions, especially if the perpetrator can hide. All the men on SWAT teams who break into people’s houses and, in one recent incident, throw a flash grenade into a baby’s crib, causing great damage, are not cowards, but they operate under the protection of their uniforms, helmets, and masks, and under the protection of our increasingly violent government. And they have no names.

What is the solution?

The only possible solution is radical, and like all radical ideas, it is impractical and idealistic, like some of the programs that will be cut: Meals on Wheels, The National Endowments.

The solution is love.

Love is what we offer, first, to ourselves, as our feelings are wounded in these exchanges.

Love is what the members of the Bethel Church offered to their assailant, who had murdered their relatives.

But to love against the grain takes more than mere human motivation. It requires a touch of the divine.

Ms. MagazineOn the other side of this horror, two bright realities appear. One is the activism of great groups of individuals all over the world. The photographs in the most recent issue of Ms., showing the amazing crowds, the banners, the worldwide collaboration to support principled opposition. These crowds have not been seen before. Not even during the Civil Right battles here, or during the Vietnam protests. These numbers are great as the threat is great, and somehow, somewhere, our voices will be heard.

And then I believe the progress we have made, as a society, since the 1950’s has had a role to play in prompting, at long last, this virulent reaction. If the Civil Right movement had failed, if Vietnam had dragged on for more decades, if we women had not succeeded in denting the patriarchy, this reaction would never have formed.

We have moved ahead as a country and as individuals, and any change, especially one of this magnitude, brings out violent opposition.

And there are the still small voices of opposition, expressed in a sign Pip and I passed on one of our neighborhood walks, attached to the fence in front of a small adobe house:

IN THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE NO HUMAN IS ILLEGAL.
LOVE IS LOVE.
SCIENCE IS REAL.
WOMEN’S RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS.
BLACK LIVES MATTER.
WATER IS LIFE.
KINDNESS IS EVERYTHING.

Listen, please, to Allen Ginsberg’s rich, worn voice reading his poem to love.

It’s all we need.

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In Women, Politics Donald Trump 17 Favorites of 2017

A long and fruitful career as a writer began in 1960 with the publication of Sallie Bingham's novel, After Such Knowledge. This was followed by 15 collections of short stories in addition to novels, memoirs and plays, as well as the 2020 biography The Silver Swan: In Search of Doris Duke.

Her latest book, Taken by the Shawnee, is a work of historical fiction published by Turtle Point Press in June of 2024. Her previous memoir, Little Brother, was published by Sarabande Books in 2022. Her short story, "What I Learned From Fat Annie" won the Thomas Wolfe Fiction Prize in 2023 and the story "How Daddy Lost His Ear," from her forthcoming short story collection How Daddy Lost His Ear and Other Stories (September 23, 2025), received second prize in the 2023 Sean O’Faolain Short Story Competition.

She is an active and involved feminist, working for women’s empowerment, who founded the Kentucky Foundation for Women, which gives grants to Kentucky artists and writers who are feminists, The Sallie Bingham Center for Women's History and Culture at Duke University, and the Women’s Project and Productions in New York City. She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Sallie's complete biography is available here.

Comments

  1. James Voyles on Facebook says

    March 21st, 2017 at 7:08 am

    Lovely.

    Reply
  2. Michele Hemenway on Facebook says

    March 21st, 2017 at 7:24 am

    Con muchas gracias

    Reply
  3. Sandra Schreiber on Facebook says

    March 21st, 2017 at 7:50 am

    Good going, Sallie Bingham

    Reply
  4. Susan says

    March 21st, 2017 at 8:00 am

    So lovely. Thank you

    Reply
  5. Sara Morsey says

    March 21st, 2017 at 11:08 am

    Your words have always provided insight, and often comfort. thank you.

    Reply
  6. Virginia Speed on Facebook says

    March 22nd, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    Grateful ?

    Reply
  7. Carol Griffin says

    March 23rd, 2017 at 6:55 am

    Your thoughts are balm for injured souls. Thank you.

    Reply
  8. Nancy Belle Fuller says

    April 13th, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    Thank you.

    Reply

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Watch Sallie

Taken By The Shawnee

Taken By The Shawnee

July 6th, 2025
Sallie Bingham introduces and reads from her latest work, Taken by the Shawnee.
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Visiting Linda Stein

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Back on October 28th, 2008, I visited artist Linda Stein's studio in New York City and tried on a few of her handmade suits of armor.

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Rebecca Reynolds & Salie Bingham at SOMOS

Rebecca Reynolds & Salie Bingham at SOMOS

November 8th, 2024
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Taken by the Shawnee Reading

September 1st, 2024
This reading took place at The Church of the Holy Faith in Santa Fe, New Mexico in August of 2024.

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Years ago a man I was in love with persuaded me to have a large fish pond dug near my studio. I think it was his attempt to be part of my necessarily solitary life there; like other such attempts it failed—and now I'm left with the fish pond! https://buff.ly/fGgnN39 #Koi #KoiPond

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Our wisdom outlasts kingdoms and democracies and tyrannies. It is for all places all people and all times. Unfortunately our wisdom can be bought, suborned, which is what I see in all the pretty women around Mr. T. "Lady Wisdom": https://buff.ly/mKAYBnf #HagiaSophia #DonaldTrump

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