We Must Listen

I’m not talking about the ones who stormed the Capitol with the intent to kill but of the smaller number who, once inside, seemed not to know what to do with themselves. They weren’t told or couldn’t imagine what should happen next, once the desks were riffled, the lectern stolen, the speaker’s chair sat in and other forms of childish desecration carried out. Perhaps the majesty of the rotunda, the likes of which they may never have seen before, was slightly intimidating.

Whatever its effect may have been, I thought there was something pathetic about these sometimes overweight, often bearded, scruffy looking white men wandering around in a daze.

What they had done, or at least had gone along with, was despicable, as were the actions of those enablers, the women, who shouted and cursed and followed—and, in one instance, lost her life trying to get through a broken window. But she did not break that window; like too many women, she was a follower, not a leader. Even with the enormous accomplishments of the women’s movement in the past half-century, we still do not assume what is our right and our responsibility: the formation of men. It will never be accepted but that is not an excuse to give up trying.

As I’ve reflected on this incident, it has occurred to me that most of the men in the mob have never witnessed or accepted a leader—except for something out of a fantasy, like the recent president. Or something brandishing a sword on television or murdering people in a movie.

Our culture has changed in drastic ways in the past half-century; parents no longer automatically side with teachers when their acting-out sons are disciplined or given failing grades; few boys have the chance to rebel against a minister delivering unpalatable lectures about right and wrong; lacking the discipline to be accepted into the military, even the dubious obedience taught there is no longer learned—except by poor and often dark-skinned men who have no other choice. Learning a skill is hardly practical now that everything is run by computers, and the effort required to get through college is foreign. Fathers may be disabled by drink or simply not around, and mothers, except in the black community, have never learned how to exercise useful control over law-breaking sons who may be bigger and stronger.

And those sons have not been taught the conciliatory wisdom we women have to learn for our survival in a violent culture, how to follow the Biblical maxim, “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” To seek for a way out rather than using physical force is seen as weak, as making one womanish, a victim, and although these means have often served women poorly—look at the numbers on domestic abuse—they have sometimes served to mitigate the mindless destruction we saw taking place at the Capitol.

Decades ago, there was a familiar expression, “Rebels without a cause.” It is difficult to formulate a cause without leaders who excite the imagination, as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was able to do with his superb oratory and his calm; without the education that may at least show examples of leadership across history and literature; without the instruction in responsibility and loyalty once taught by those now vanished male organizations, the Lions, the Shriners, the Masons. We often laugh at them now because of their displays of costume, their parading and preaching of the old-time virtues, but for men lost in a culture steeped in consumerism and greed, they did once provide at least the possibility of another way—and a forum where men could find their seats and speak to an attentive audience of other men.

So even for the horned hobgoblin, self-declared shaman of some unknown cult, whose demand for organic food in jail was granted because it is a requirement of his religion, there must be a seat at the table. Surely he has something to say to us, given the chance, if only to explain his doctrine, his principles. Surely some enterprising reporter should seek out his father, his brothers, his friends, to find out what his earlier influencers were teaching him or at least modeling for him with their behavior. Without understanding him, and draining some of his rage with our attention, he will go on to appear again, often and in other forms, like the dragon’s teeth.

According to the once well-known Greek legend, Cadmus, bringer of literacy and civilization, killed a fire-breathing dragon and was then advised by Athena, goddess of wisdom, to sow the dragon’s teeth like seed. He did, and they sprouted into an army of fierce warriors who turned on each other in a struggle for a precious jewel; only five survived.

We are in the time now of the spouting of the dragon’s teeth but the soil was prepared for them decades ago. And we are all responsible for that.

In Women, Politics Capitol riots