Hades and Persephone by Sandara
We are now caught in an unarticulated contest between “strength” and “weakness” going into the presidential election. Since so much depends on perceptions, and perceptions are almost certainly superficial—and powerful—it is difficult to come up with two satisfactory definitions. And yet a great deal depends on thoughtful definitions to escape the trap of total subjectivity.
First lets peel away superficial impressions to the degree that we can: the hang of a suit jacket, the color of hair, the texture of facial skin, the lines or lack of them. Perhaps some less than superficial meaning can be attached to posture: do the straight spine, the square shoulders really indicate straightness and squareness of character? Perhaps…
Then there’s height, perhaps the most impressive physical characteristic of all. Most women and some men have had the unpleasant experience of being towered over by tall men. It takes a conscious effort on the part of a tall man not to use his height to overwhelm or suppress. Long, long ago in a time of even more rigid class and color barriers, a concept was developed called “gently bred.” Women, mothers—not necessarily white and upper class—tried to teach their tall sons not to “take advantage.”
That was part of the dreadful concept of “noblesse oblige,” based on the assumption that to be in any way “noble”—due to class, physical advantages, cultural opportunities, money—meant one should not “show off” in order to intimidate those who lacked those advantages. This was taught by means of a good deal of shaming, and no contemporary parent would dream of repeating it. Yet it seems to me this was a perhaps fruitless attempt to teach humility—a word we don’t hear much of these days.
We also tend to associate strength with a loud voice. But again, shouting is really only an unpleasant attempt to impress and suppress. A little shaming of the loudmouth might be in order—but how long has it been since you’ve heard “You ought to be ashamed of yourself?”
Seducing—or even assaulting—women seems to some people a sign of strength, even if they don’t say it openly. We see examples in myths and fairy tales: the maiden Persephone carried to the underworld by the dark god Hades. How many people think, but don’t say, “She must have wanted it, playing alone in that field?” Or “It wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t wearing that short skirt.” Very few people actually say that Might is Right; but how many actually believe it?
We feminists have for decades, even centuries, tried to teach that there is another form of strength that doesn’t depend on intimidation or coercion but draws on deep wells of compassion and empathy—hidden, but operative, sometimes even today.
But the macho whirlwind into which we are descending would never admit that it’s the only legitimate form of strength. Boys and men are still not supposed to cry.
And we will reap the whirlwind.
Dearest Sallie. I most certainly agree with all of what you say here. I am not truly “free” being born female in America. I cannot go everywhere I want without my “body guard”, ie my husband. I have never had what I would call a “career”, but kept many different kinds of employment because I had to for us to have a good life. Almost all the jobs I held where I was working with men I was sexually harassed. Even after I was married. I have always felt it was “open season” for men to get at women. I am childless, so I punched out of the work force at age 41, and never missed any of it. My husband held good employment. We got a little farm and I got my horse life back from when I was a girl. And now as the whirlwind as you wrote is at a high pitch, I retreat to my little patch of green with our ponies and cats. We know the patriarchy is done. The patriarchy knows it is done. We are just watching the “fallout” so to speak. The good has won, and we are just watching all of it play out in real time. As the dense 3D world is still intertwined with the 5D world that we are entering, we are headed into a rough patch. But we will survive. I have no doubt about it. May it be so!