In this time of disruption, our particular talent as women in “making cozy” comes to the fore as an essential form of comfort, one we can all offer, first to ourselves, and then to all others suffering from confusion and even despair.
Now I put rest first, even if it means two, not one, naps a day, even if it means sitting for a minute outside as the days grow warmer to look at the mountains in their shaggy coats of pinion and juniper, trees that survive drought and bugs and still manage to flourish.
It means getting off this computer as soon as my back begins to hurt and doing my essential floor exercises, now made more agreeable by my access three afternoons a week to a therapy pool. Leg lifts are much easier in warm water and I only wish everyone reading this post had the same opportunity.
Also I’ve created what used to be called a cozy corner. In my case it’s not a corner but an upholstered chaise lounge, with ample pillows, looking out through a big window to the mountains. I’ve added a lap rug, essential for naps, and a needlepoint pillow made by an old friend which is the portrait of Emily Dickinson, a good reading light, notes and pencils, and a basket of logs for the wood stove I light for comfort on chilly days. No cell phone, no laptop, just Joy Harjo’s new book and the chance to close my eyes and even snore. Oh and a glass of water…
I think we women are too responsible, for so many people, related and not, for causes and problems we see so clearly and can’t ignore. How seldom do we really allow ourselves to relax, especially now when every day brings news of more disasters. Our over-developed sense of responsibility keeps this world turning—and turning—but leaves almost no time for a cozy corner. And yet, when we reflect on times past, it’s not so much the endless procession of responsibilities we remember but the few moments of bliss, detached from relationships and obligations, purely our own.
As a writer, I set my own agenda, a privilege awarded few of us, and one that makes me daily aware of my responsibility to try to make other women’s lives a tiny bit easier.
If you don’t already have one, take a few minutes now to create your own cozy corner and devote a portion of every day to inhabiting it. Probably it’s the only action we can take that makes a difference.
Sallie – I am saving this wise and wonderful column. Thank you – all the best,
Sharon
Additionally I would suggest incorporating the practice of a few cycles of a simple mindful breathing technique.
Love this so much and fully intend to do just this in about 8 days 🙂
Oh, Sallie. Would that my mother had heeded this advice. “Service above self” damn near kills us all.
Thank you for a cozy alternative. In honor of you, my mother and women in need of rest everywhere: Done!