Sallie Bingham

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You are here: Home / Women / Making Cozy

Making Cozy

March 12th, 2025 by Sallie Bingham in Women 4 Comments

Photo of a chaise lounge with Emily Dickinson pillowIn this time of disruption, our particular talent as women in “making cozy” comes to the fore as an essential form of comfort, one we can all offer, first to ourselves, and then to all others suffering from confusion and even despair.

Now I put rest first, even if it means two, not one, naps a day, even if it means sitting for a minute outside as the days grow warmer to look at the mountains in their shaggy coats of pinion and juniper, trees that survive drought and bugs and still manage to flourish.

It means getting off this computer as soon as my back begins to hurt and doing my essential floor exercises, now made more agreeable by my access three afternoons a week to a therapy pool. Leg lifts are much easier in warm water and I only wish everyone reading this post had the same opportunity.

Also I’ve created what used to be called a cozy corner. In my case it’s not a corner but an upholstered chaise lounge, with ample pillows, looking out through a big window to the mountains. I’ve added a lap rug, essential for naps, and a needlepoint pillow made by an old friend which is the portrait of Emily Dickinson, a good reading light, notes and pencils, and a basket of logs for the wood stove I light for comfort on chilly days. No cell phone, no laptop, just Joy Harjo’s new book and the chance to close my eyes and even snore. Oh and a glass of water…

If you don't already have one, take a few minutes now to create your own cozy corner and devote a portion of every day to inhabiting it.

I think we women are too responsible, for so many people, related and not, for causes and problems we see so clearly and can’t ignore. How seldom do we really allow ourselves to relax, especially now when every day brings news of more disasters. Our over-developed sense of responsibility keeps this world turning—and turning—but leaves almost no time for a cozy corner. And yet, when we reflect on times past, it’s not so much the endless procession of responsibilities we remember but the few moments of bliss, detached from relationships and obligations, purely our own.

As a writer, I set my own agenda, a privilege awarded few of us, and one that makes me daily aware of my responsibility to try to make other women’s lives a tiny bit easier.

If you don’t already have one, take a few minutes now to create your own cozy corner and devote a portion of every day to inhabiting it. Probably it’s the only action we can take that makes a difference.

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In Women

A long and fruitful career as a writer began in 1960 with the publication of Sallie Bingham's novel, After Such Knowledge. This was followed by 15 collections of short stories in addition to novels, memoirs and plays, as well as the 2020 biography The Silver Swan: In Search of Doris Duke.

Her latest book, Taken by the Shawnee, is a work of historical fiction published by Turtle Point Press in June of 2024. Her previous memoir, Little Brother, was published by Sarabande Books in 2022. Her short story, "What I Learned From Fat Annie" won the Thomas Wolfe Fiction Prize in 2023 and the story "How Daddy Lost His Ear," from her forthcoming short story collection How Daddy Lost His Ear and Other Stories (September 23, 2025), received second prize in the 2023 Sean O’Faolain Short Story Competition.

She is an active and involved feminist, working for women’s empowerment, who founded the Kentucky Foundation for Women, which gives grants to Kentucky artists and writers who are feminists, The Sallie Bingham Center for Women's History and Culture at Duke University, and the Women’s Project and Productions in New York City. She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Sallie's complete biography is available here.

Comments

  1. Sharon Niederman says

    March 13th, 2025 at 6:26 pm

    Sallie – I am saving this wise and wonderful column. Thank you – all the best,
    Sharon

    Reply
  2. Martha White says

    March 14th, 2025 at 8:03 am

    Additionally I would suggest incorporating the practice of a few cycles of a simple mindful breathing technique.

    Reply
  3. Reena says

    March 15th, 2025 at 3:23 pm

    Love this so much and fully intend to do just this in about 8 days 🙂

    Reply
  4. Rebecca Joy Bingham says

    March 18th, 2025 at 7:30 am

    Oh, Sallie. Would that my mother had heeded this advice. “Service above self” damn near kills us all.

    Thank you for a cozy alternative. In honor of you, my mother and women in need of rest everywhere: Done!

    Reply

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This event was recorded November 1, 2024 in Taos, NM at SOMOS Salon & Bookshop by KCEI Radio, Red River/Taos and broadcast on November 8, 2024.
Taken by the Shawnee Reading

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This reading took place at The Church of the Holy Faith in Santa Fe, New Mexico in August of 2024.

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Years ago a man I was in love with persuaded me to have a large fish pond dug near my studio. I think it was his attempt to be part of my necessarily solitary life there; like other such attempts it failed—and now I'm left with the fish pond! https://buff.ly/fGgnN39 #Koi #KoiPond

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Our wisdom outlasts kingdoms and democracies and tyrannies. It is for all places all people and all times. Unfortunately our wisdom can be bought, suborned, which is what I see in all the pretty women around Mr. T. "Lady Wisdom": https://buff.ly/mKAYBnf #HagiaSophia #DonaldTrump

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Sallie Bingham's latest is a captivating account of ancestor's ordeal
Pasatiempo, The Santa Fe New Mexican

“I felt she was with me” during the process of writing the book, Bingham says. “I felt I wasn’t writing anything that would have seemed to her false or unreal.”

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